I've always considered myself a minimalist... we don't have a lot of things. I don't own very many shoes or clothes. We typically only have one of each kitchen thing (pots and pans, big spoons, those things). I've even silently prided myself on this when I was cleaning houses for Merry Maids... do you really need 16 pairs of high heels? What about 9 serving platters that sit collecting dust?

But lately I've began to wonder, am I a minimalist by choice? Or is it lack of resources?

If I had the money to live in a house, not a little apartment, would I allow myself to accumulate the
"necessary" kitchenware? What about if I didn't share a closet with my husband? Would my son have more things that hold babies and make noise? Would I justify a toilet paper holder? Or fake greenery above my kitchen cabinets?

I'm beginning to think maybe it's time to swallow my pride. Our income and (by God's grace alone) conviction to get out of debt has seriously limited any temptation to buy extras. When I do purchase something I end up wallowing in so much buyer's remorse it's typically back at the store before I make it home.

But what if we weren't limited. What if we were okay making minimum payments? What if we were okay putting Chief in daycare so we could have two incomes? Then would I buy more? Would I give up my minimalism? Would I have tons of shoes and accessories and dresses and skirts and shirts and more and more? Would I have a bread machine, rice cooker, kitchenaid mixer (got one free from Jeff's gpa... score!), blender and food processor sitting on my counters?

Having things is not bad. But what I have done, and sinfully so, is given in to the temptation to judge others for having things when, in all reality, I likely would have just as many things if not more if the opportunity presented itself.

I am clinging to these wise words:

 Two things I ask of you;
  deny them not to me before I die:
 Remove far from me falsehood and lying;
  give me neither poverty nor riches;
  feed me with the food that is needful for me,
 lest I be full and deny you
  and say, “Who is the LORD?”
 or lest I be poor and steal
  and profane the name of my God.
(Proverbs 30:7-9 ESV)


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