Letting someone else do something you could do better

I recently became the pastors' assistant (yes, I used that apostrophe properly... there are 2 pastors!) at my church. This mostly involves managing the social media for the church, making spreadsheets, coordinating events, etc. Things like that. Things that a type A person such as myself wishes everyone would let them do because I know I can do it better. 

Because that's just what you think when you're type A... that "they should have just let me do this."

Which I think might be a problem in parenting... because you're supposed to let your kids figure things out, right? Slowly. Even if you can do it better.
Faster. More efficiently. 

(In case you're wondering that picture is of Chief attacking the mound of change we collected in our Rice Bowls at church for Orphan Sunday). 

This was always a problem for me in school... mostly because I ended up with the slackers during group projects because they knew I would do all of the work. So, do it I did... and boy, oh boy, did I allow myself to be a martyr... doing and complaining.

It's all a trust issue and a control issue rolled up into one big, hairy issue. (Side note: when someone attaches the adjective "hairy" to pretty much anything, I picture a big ole' gross mole with curls of hair sticking out of it). 

I don't trust God and I believe the lie that I am in control. I think I can do things better than anyone else, God included. I think I can handle situations better and I think I can understand things better. I feel like God is busy (I mean, hello Super Storm Sandy) and so He wouldn't mind if I just took over. Then, when things don't go how they should, I throw a big, hairy (there's the mole, again!) tantrum. My tantrums mostly involve me stomping to the kitchen to bake something, anything, and then eating most of the batter/dough and then throwing away whatever it is I baked. Then, in true martyr fashion, I feel extreme guilt and shame for overeating and plan out how many miles I need to run later to make up for my momentary lapse in project lose-the-baby-weight.

What I need to grasp onto is that God knows better than I do and He's been doing everything longer than I have. I need to find peace in that... I don't have to take over the project. I don't have to be in control. I don't have to keep it together. I don't have to wear myself out. He's got this. 

Praying I keep this in mind when I'm watching my (future- I only have one right now!) children do things... slowly and messily. 


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