So, I suck at blogging.

Mostly because I am six months pregnant with my second son and am trying to be intentional with my toddler...

Meaning I try not to be on the computer or on my phone (FAIL) while he is awake. I mostly fail at the phone thing because I am compulsive about checking the weather. Does anyone else do that? I check it multiple times a day. Weird, right?

But, alas, we are trucking along. I am doing my best to not be obsessive with the weight I am gaining this pregnancy. I desperately wanted to keep running and my goal was to run longer into this pregnancy than I did with my first. Of course, pelvic instability reared its ugly head much earlier this time and I decided, rather than not be able to walk, I would give up running for the time being.

Now, know this, running is my comfort. Running helps me justify eating sugar. Running gets me outside and moving.

It's been a sanctifying experience. I haven't ran since the week before Thanksgiving. We have started taking long walks and playing at the park longer. It looks different than what I am used to but God is still good. As John Piper says, there are no "maverick" molecules or moments with God. He is in control of my pelvic instability and in control of my not being able to run and in control of my weight gain.

Chief is easily my favorite small person. He is talking in semi-sentences and connecting words and laughing, laughing, laughing. He loves the lights on the Christmas tree and wrestling with our dog and eating. Goodness, the kid loves to eat. I can't imagine where he got that...

I look forward to the day when I can ultimately hand my issues with food and weight and appearances and performance over to God and just be who I am for Him. I know there have to be people who live in that space. They must exist. It must be possible. My hope is not in a diet plan, book, exercise program, etc. It is in Jesus. It is a living hope. Anything else I would hope in will eventually die if it even is alive in the beginning. Why would I hope in anything less?


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