Where I am today...

I last updated about a lump I found...

Thankfully, it is benign. I have to go back in six months to get it looked at again, but for the time being, I can breathe.
It's funny, though. The days between finding the lump and going to the breast center, I was a mess. Reading a book to my son brought me to tears. I didn't want to exercise or eat healthily. I was consumed by this thing. The unknown.

But the day I found out it was benign, I snapped back to my old self. I worked out. I made muffins for my kid. I pulled myself together.

There is something to be said about being in the unknown and the lack of control you realize you really have. I am grateful to be on the other side of this scare, but a little disappointed in myself. I think I thought my hands were a little more open than they are. I think I thought I had turned my life over to God a little more than I have.

I don't want to do this back and forth dance of guilt over where I am versus where I should be. I know that God is sovereign and He brought me through this to sanctify me and show me this.

On a lighter note, gestational diabetes aside, this has been a pretty chill 36th week of pregnancy. My SPD is flaring up a little but that it to be expected. I am praying for a safe, healthy delivery and that I am content to receive Dax whenever... of course I would like to see him sooner than later... but, open hands, right?


Popular Posts