How We Spend Our Days

Sometimes I take myself way too seriously and it makes me uneasy, like I need to stage some form of public embarrassment to knock myself off of my own pedastal.

For instance, I read a Nora Ephron book yesterday. It was good, a quick read, and it made me a little sad that, outside of my beloved "You've Got Mail," I am just now disovering her and she's dead. The point is- I read it in one day. I've been trying to keep up with everything I am reading on my Goodreads account because I am the worst about getting a book from the library and reading three chapters before I realize I've already read it. So, I didn't want to update my Goodreads account that I had, in fact, completed the Nora Ephron book because then, THEN, my three Goodreads friends who actually update their accounts regularly would know that I had completed a book in one day and would assume I neglected my children.

In all honesty, I neglected the dishes and laundry and then scrambled to do SOMETHING when I realized Jeff was almost home so he wouldn't think I neglected the children all day.

Another thought, how did people brag before social media? Did they just overtly talk about their vacations or how often they exercise or the new diet they're trying at the water cooler? My friend and I have been talking about the paradox of wanting to update our social media accounts while also not wanting to seem narcissistic. I am sure there are plenty of people who scroll through their feeds, annoyed that I've posted yet ANOTHER picture of my children while I am simultaneously scrolling annoyed by another selfie or Whole30 declaration. I guess we all have the freedom to unfollow and hide posts of whomever we choose to unfollow and to share whatever we choose to share.

Honestly, it all comes down to this... people don't care about us as much as we think and, in the end, this really all won't matter. I recently read something I desperately hope isn't true; that Jackie Kennedy, upon learning she had cancer, said, "I wish I hadn't done all those sit-ups."

I can read a book in one day and if someone thinks that warrants a call to CPS, that's fine.

I can never read another book in my life and instead choose to watch reality television about Brits baking meat pies, and that's fine.

My diastasis recti may never shrink. I may never have a flat stomach again. I might never complete a Whole30 or run a full marathon. And that's all fine.

How we spend our days, says Annie Dillard, is how we spend our lives.

I am choosing to not spend my days fretting over whether or not anyone reads this blog or if it matters. I am choosing to not spend my days sucking in to look like the in-shape mom. I am choosing to not spend my days doing 500 sit-ups to impress anyone.

In light of Easter weekend, if I really believe Jesus conquered death, the scariest thing on earth, then I have so much freedom to spend my days loving others and pursuing joy and contentment in Him. And that, Annie Dillard, is how I want to spend my life.


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